In an exclusive by Us Weekly, an insider familiar with Emily said, “She is a nice girl, but she isn’t as good as she’s made out to be.”
Well, now that may be true. On last year’s Bachelor, she seemed to be a quiet, shy acting, sweet little thing, who in my opinion teetered dangerously on the brink of OHMYGODWOULDYOUGOBUYAPERSONALITY! This year as The Bachelorette, she was still paint-drying boring, but as the season progressed, she began showing traces of a backbone. In the last few episodes she has even cracked some jokes and thrown around more than a few F-bombs. Some outtakes shown last week of her and Chris Harrison almost made me wish they had invited me to hang with them. Side note: It’s possible that I may be hot for Chris Harrison, but since this is still a surprise to me, I’ll have to get back to you on that). Anyway…in Emily’s defense, I think the editors may be responsible for portraying only her syrupy side and not letting us see more of who the real Em is really like. She claims over and over and over and over repeatedly on the show that she’s looking for a daddy for little Ricky. What I’ve seen reported more frequently (if that’s possible), is that she loves being in front of the camera and is looking for fame and moolah.
Now I ask ya, if you were seriously looking to meet, get to know and ultimately fall in love with a man who would be the perfect father for your only child, would you honestly believe you could accomplish that feat in the approximate eight weeks of filming a reality show in the make believe land of cameras, tropical islands and the absence of everyday life? I think not. On the other hand, if you were offered a shit-pot of money to appear in a show, and the possibility of future shit-pots of money as a result of your appearance in said show, would you do it? Duh. So let’s cut ‘ol Em some slack here. Who cares why she’s doing it? If she’s willing to be stuck with a guy she had to pick out of 26 mediocre ones in order to be rich enough to take care of her and her kid, okay. If she’s looking for a way to become rich herself in order to take care of herself and her kid, that’s okay too. To each their own, I say. All I care about is that I’m entertained on Monday nights, and for the most part, I am. But I do have a couple bones to pick with ‘ol Em.
Apparently Emily had breast implants, veneers and a reported nose job before her gig on The Bachelor. Okay, so the boobs and the nose job don’t interest me, but the veneers caught my attention. Have you noticed how often she licks her teeth – like you do when you have to lube them up so your lips don’t stick to them? It drives me crazy. If she feels these very large, thick new teeth are an improvement, it made me wonder what they looked like before. I did myself a little Googling, and I found her 2004 senior high school picture online. I can kind of see why she’d want a little fixin’ up. The chompers below are a far cry from her current Chiclets, don’t you think, but she’s still a pretty little thing.
I’m not knocking her for having her teeth done, for God’s sake. Straight teeth just fascinate me, and when I watch her every week, I’m mesmerized by hers, but her tongue keeps jumping into my line of vision and I can’t ever get a good bead on those things. I feel like maybe she’s not used to them yet, or maybe her mouth dries up with the camera lights and tropical breezes and such. Being around Arie and never knowing when he’s going to lean in for another wall-slam, pin you against a building kiss would make anyone a bit jumpy. Makes my mouth dry just thinking about it. Day-um! I’m thinking smearing a little Vaseline on those veneers might do the trick for that teeth/lip hitch problem.
There’s also the hair thing she’s got goin’ on. It could be a bit of a nervous habit when she is forever putting her hair not quite behind her ear. Have you noticed that? She constantly grabs the piece of hair on the right side by her face and right when you think she’s going to tuck it behind her ear, she sets it down a little further back into the rest of her hair as if that’s exactly the spot she intended it to be. It’s such a wasted effort because it accomplishes nothing. We know it’s just going to fall forward again since there’s nothing there to anchor it. Geez Em, shove a bobby in it (ridge side down, of course)! It makes me wonder if she really is about to stick it behind her ear like the rest of us do, but then remembers at the last minute she doesn’t want her ears showing on national TV so she abandons ship? Hmmm, curious.
Emily’s got that hint of the Southern accent, which is expected being from North Carolina and all. I’ve noticed there are times when she’ speaks totally with her accent, and other times she almost forgets she has it. But she’s completely consistent on one thing. Since when did southerners begin drawing out the first part of their word and then sticking an “a” at the end? Is that some sort of regional dialect? “Heeeeeey-a”. “I missed you tooooo-a”. “Noooo-a”. “Good to seeeee you-a!” These “a” words are almost always spoken in the whiny tone a teenage girl uses when she’s told to be home at midnight. Apparently the “a” words can only be used whilst standing on tiptoe administering a hug to a male. Weird language, that southern drawl.
I don’t mean to be catty or disrespectful. I don’t have anything against Emily at all. I’ve just become somewhat uninhibited when it comes to The Bachelorette. I’ve become part of an online Bachelorette Viewing Group on Facebook this season and as shallow as it may sound, it has quickly become the highlight of my week. By my friends adding their friends and so on, our little group has grown into some of the funniest group of like-minded women I have ever been associated with. We all meet online in our jammies while we watch the drama of The Bachelorette unfold. At the first sign of a commercial, 50 pair of hands are flying over keyboards exchanging comments and predictions. At the end of the night, someone writes a summary and posts it to our blog No Thinking Required, for any of us who missed that night’s show. It’s a great way to spend a night out with the girls without leaving home. Feel free to check us out, and be sure to leave a comment letting us know you stopped by.
So…who do you think Emily is going to pick on Sunday? Will it be Arie…One-f Jef…or Chris Harrison?
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